On Love's Own Terms Page 5

  “Maybe it would help if you danced off a few of those extra calories,” Dave suggested. “Why don’t we all take a run out to the Hickory Tavern tonight?”

  Bonnie’s heart felt like it was shattering. The Hickory Tavern was the roadhouse where she had seen Luke with another woman before divorcing him. She studied her half-empty plate, acutely aware that Luke’s eyes were on her.

  “It sounds like fun, but I’m afraid I’ll have to beg off,” she declined, her voice stiffly polite. “You all go on without me, though. I’ve got plenty here to keep me occupied.”

  As if to prove she was far too busy for such frivolity, Bonnie stood and abruptly began clearing the table. Luke lit a cigarette and leaned back in his chair, its legs scraping the linoleum floor. His gaze never left her as she carried the dirty dishes to the sink.

  “Oh, please, go with us,” Darlene implored.

  “We won’t stay late,” Dave promised.

  Luke remained silent, as if he didn’t care whether or not she went with them.

  Bonnie shook her head vehemently while Dave and Darlene bombarded her with arguments, trying to convince her to change her mind. She’d never told anyone but her attorney and the judge why she had finally decided to divorce Luke. Relatives and friends had been left to draw their own conclusions, because she was too ashamed to admit that she wasn’t woman enough to satisfy her man.

  No. To return to the Hickory Tavern would be to revive her worst nightmare. The only difference was that this time she’d be walking in with her eyes wide open. Bonnie scrubbed the dishes with a vengeance, removing a bit more of their fading rose pattern in the process.

  “What’s the fun in dressing up if you can’t go out and have fun with the people you love the most?” Darlene grumbled. The sundress she had borrowed was a bit loose in the bodice but fit her nicely otherwise. She adjusted the thin straps, then tossed her head. “Besides, Luke won’t have anyone to dance with if you don’t go.”

  Bonnie whirled away from the sink and met Luke’s mildly amused expression. He knew exactly what she was thinking! Flicking soap bubbles off her fingertips, she shrugged indifferently. “Well, I’ve certainly never known him to lack for a partner.”

  His gaze narrowed noticeably, but he didn’t utter a word in his own defense. Instead he stood, turned his back on the lot of them and strolled out of the kitchen.

  How like him to leave her stuck with the explanations! Resentment bubbled through Bonnie’s veins, but she bit her tongue. What purpose would it serve to air the reasons for her reluctance now?

  “Tonight is probably our last chance to have some fun together before the wedding,” Darlene said glumly. “Dave and I are leaving on our honeymoon right after the reception. And who knows for sure when you’ll decide to come home again?”

  Bonnie’s resistance weakened. Darlene was becoming a regular pro at playing her heartstrings. “Give me fifteen minutes to change my clothes,” she relented. “I’ll go with you.”

  Darlene flashed a beguiling smile and tugged up the bodice of her dress. Dave hurried out of the kitchen to find Luke and inform him of the change in plans.

  Upstairs, Bonnie studied the contents of her closet and wondered what to wear, then burst into peals of laughter. The Hickory Tavern hardly ranked as chic. In truth, it owed its questionable popularity to the fact that it was the only watering hole in town. She could probably wear a gunny sack and look perfectly at home!

  The idea evoked another smile as she selected a plain blue halter top and a simple skirt that skimmed her knees. Without bothering to put on pantyhose, she slipped her feet into canvas espadrilles and applied a minimum of makeup. This was Darlene’s night to shine, and she didn’t intend to divert one beam of the spotlight to herself.

  Ready with time to spare, Bonnie surveyed herself in the mirror. Too sexy, she criticized, peering over her shoulder at her bared back. Maybe she should swap the halter top for a blouse.

  “Let’s go!” Darlene rapped on the bedroom door just as she reached into her closet. “The guys are waiting in the van.”

  A honking horn confirmed the fact. With an impatient shrug at her own silliness, Bonnie hurried downstairs, halter top intact.

  “You’ll have to sit on the bed with Luke.” Darlene waved her into the dark interior with an apologetic smile.

  “We took out the back seats in order to haul furniture.”

  Bonnie climbed in and groped her way toward the bed. Luke sat with his back against the rear door. His long, muscular legs were stretched across the narrow mattress while the shadows swathed his rugged features.

  Perched on the edge of her makeshift seat, she was uncomfortably aware of his gaze trained on the bare skin she turned to him. As the van roared out of the driveway, she gripped the side-panel handle to maintain her balance. Neither of them spoke a word during the bumpy ride, which suited Bonnie just fine.

  “Gosh, they’re busy for a weeknight,” Darlene said as Dave drove around the weathered gray building in search of a parking space. She turned and smiled brightly at Bonnie and Luke. “With so many people out howling tonight, you two are bound to run into some of your old friends.”

  The innocent remark stung Bonnie like a whiplash, and she inhaled sharply. Old friends, indeed! She caught her bottom lip between her teeth. Maybe she was blowing this all out of proportion, but the memory of Luke dancing with that redhead still pounded as violently as a jackhammer at her temples.

  Luke slid forward on the mattress then, coming much too close for Bonnie’s comfort. Unless she wanted to rub elbows and everything else with him, there was no place for her to go but up. She stood. At the same time the van swerved and she fell sideways, landing unceremoniously in Luke’s lap.

  “Drop-in company.” He wrapped strong, welcoming arms around her slender waist “I must say, it’s my favorite kind.”

  “Save the sweet talk for your old friends.” Her voice rasped with hurt despite her attempt to sound aloof.

  “Were you jealous that night?” He tightened his embrace, as if trying to squeeze a confession from her.

  “Of course not.” She stubbornly refused to admit it aloud, even after all these years. “It was simply the last straw.”

  Luke frowned but his eyes were fathomless in the moonlight.

  Bonnie turned her head, regretting the lie. How were they ever going to resolve their conflicts if she refused to discuss their marriage honestly? Why couldn’t she just tell him the truth and be done with it? Angry with herself because she didn’t know the answers to those difficult questions, she squirmed. “Let me go.”

  His hold slackened immediately. But as she started to rise, Dave slammed on the brakes. Luke grabbed her again and they tumbled backwards, Bonnie on top.

  “Don’t make any sudden moves with your left knee, or I’m ruined for life,” he warned, his breath scorching her cheek.

  Gingerly, Bonnie wiggled the leg he’d referred to and was mortified to discover it was snugly trapped between his lean thighs. They both groaned then, but for distinctly different reasons.

  The front doors of the van opened and shut as Darlene and Dave made their exit.

  “You dragged me down like this on purpose!” Bonnie accused.

  “You used to enjoy this position.”

  “Damn you!” she gasped. “That was different.”

  “Delightfully so,” Luke reminded her huskily. Renewing her struggle, Bonnie tried wrenching free of his hold. Failing that, she glared down him and repeated her earlier demand. “Let me go.”

  “Say please,” Luke mocked, grinning wickedly as his hands roamed over her rib cage, setting her bare skin ablaze.

  Sensations licked like fire through her veins when his thumbs brushed the sides of her breasts. She splayed her fingers across his powerful chest and whispered unsteadily, “Please.”

  Terminating their physical battle, he released her. Yet she remained in place, a prisoner now of her own desires, every female inch of her keenly attuned to his har
d, male shape. The embers of an age-old need flamed in her eyes.

  Luke’s gaze caught her fire and returned its golden radiance. He whispered her name, sending shivers down her spine. His hand caressed the nape of her neck before gently guiding her head lower. When their lips met, his tongue thrilled her mouth in a primitive rhythm of passion.

  They rolled over, and Luke’s hands slid down her body, taking their own sweet time while giving their own special pleasure. Bonnie raised her arms and wound them around his neck, holding him closer to her heart. His long fingers forged an erotic trail up her silky inner thigh toward the lacy, elastic leg of her— Squealing tires and glaring headlights rudely invaded their privacy as a car pulled into the parking space beside the van.

  Luke lifted his head, muttering an oath under his breath. Beneath him, Bonnie stiffened as shame flooded through her with the force of a raging river. Whatever had possessed her to let things get so out-of-hand? Especially after this afternoon’s fiasco in the kitchen!

  They lay frozen on the lumpy mattress until slamming car doors and retreating footsteps echoed faintly in the night. As soon as she felt it was safe to do so, Bonnie scooted sideways and sat up.

  Luke made no attempt to stop her; he simply propped himself up on one elbow and watched while she straightened her skirt and smoothed her hair with trembling hands.

  “I’m sorry,” she murmured when she’d collected the tattered scraps of her self-control. Standing on shaky legs, she kept her head carefully averted. “That was a stupid stunt on my part. I swear it won’t happen again.”

  “A lot of good that’s going to do me now,” he said harshly.

  “I apologized and I meant it.” Turning, she held out her hands, shakily beseeching his understanding. “If it’s any consolation, I’m as frustrated as you are.”

  “Frustrated?” The tension that had seethed between them since yesterday erupted in his scornful remark. Luke’s hand snaked out, encircling her wrist. “What a sophisticated vocabulary for a country girl.”

  “No, please, no,” she begged as he pulled her toward the mattress, then dragged her down and onto her back.

  “I warned you once today,” he gritted. “Apparently my words fell on deaf ears.”

  “Wh-what are you doing?” she stammered when he straddled her waist with his knees and pinned her arms above her head.

  “You showed me yours,” he mocked, drawing one of her hands downward. “Now I’ll show you mine.”

  “No!” Realizing his intention, she tried yanking her hand free of his iron grip. It was an exercise in futility, and she shut her eyes against his steely stare. “Stop it!”

  Ignoring her order, he flattened her palm against him.

  “You don’t frustrate me, Bonnie,” he rasped. “You tear me up and turn me inside out.”

  Luke flung her hand away as if he couldn’t bear her touch, then rolled off her writhing body. Ashamed of her own role in provoking the debasing incident, Bonnie lay with her eyes closed and listened while he slid the side-panel door open to leave the van.

  She’d asked for it, pure and simple. He’d merely delivered. In a daze, she sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed. They’d punished one another before with words and deeds, but never so brutally. And never again, she swore. Not if she could prevent it.

  Rowdy laughter and loud music filtered across the graveled parking lot. The place was probably crawling with women who would love to finish what she’d started. Just imagining the scene that might greet her inside, she buried her face in her hands. Why, after all these years, did he still possess the power to hurt her?

  Bonnie finally climbed out of the van, squared her shoulders and started walking toward the roadhouse. Although her back was ramrod stiff and her head high, she felt as vulnerable as a victim returning to the scene of the crime.

  Big enough to oblige almost any urge, the Hickory Tavern was packed to the rafters. The plastic crack of a billiards break vied with the country and western music blasting from the corner jukebox. Dark, smoky and dank, the place was filled with men who had come to drink and chase women.

  Bonnie paused in the doorway, unaware of the bold male glances and envious female glares appraising her. She scanned the blue-hazed barroom, seeking a familiar face. At this point, she thought grimly, even a recognizable rear view would do quite nicely.

  “Hey, pretty lady, can I buy you a cool one?” A man dressed in his weeknight best pinned her against the door frame.

  “Sorry, I’m with someone.” She ducked under his long arms, then sidestepped him. “Thank you, just the same.”

  His eyes inspected her thoroughly from head to toe, and she wondered whether he’d make trouble over her refusal. To his credit he bobbed his head and leaned casually against the door frame, ready to try his line on the next female arrival.

  Bonnie stood on tiptoes and intensified her search. Even if Luke had decided to avoid her entirely for the rest of the evening, where had Darlene and Dave disappeared to? There was only one sure way to find out.

  Plunging into the mob, she marveled at the number of people jammed into the tavern. She dodged a dangerous elbow and skirted a couple wrapped in a passionate embrace. Finally, after her eyes had adjusted to the dimness, she saw Darlene waving her over to a table near the dance floor.

  “Wow!” Bonnie exclaimed as she took the chrome and vinyl chair beside her sister. “For a two-cent town, they sure turn out a dollar-bill crowd.”

  “It’s because there’s nowhere else to go around here.” Darlene shrugged matter-of-factly. “Practically everybody living in Rebel’s Ridge works in Atlanta.” She took a chip from the basket on their table and dipped it into a bowl of fiery red sauce. “By the time people drive home and clean up, it’s too late and too much trouble to backtrack forty miles for an evening’s entertainment.”

  “Forgive me if I’m not impressed that this gin mill profits solely by convenience,” Bonnie replied dryly.

  “Where’s Dave?”

  “Playing pool with one of the guys from work.” Darlene smiled indulgently and reached for another chip. “When I think he’s lost enough money to last him awhile, I’ll go collar him for a dance.”

  Bonnie glanced toward the far corner. Beneath a mushroom cloud of cigarette smoke, a dozen men huddled around the pool table. Judging from the ribald remarks and raucous laughter, Dave was holding his own. She looked away. If Luke had been there, he would have stood head and shoulders above the rest.

  A curvaceous waitress wearing skintight jeans and a T-shirt stopped at the table. Darlene ordered a beer. Although she normally drank wine spritzers, Bonnie requested the same.

  The rockabilly music rendered ordinary conversation impossible, and Darlene seemed perfectly content to sit and sip. Bonnie surveyed the dance floor where several couples moved in time to the music, and where she half-expected to spot Luke with another woman in tow.

  He wasn’t there, and her heart plummeted. Maybe he’d come in the front door and latched onto a willing one-night fling, then ducked out the back door with her. Perhaps... her imagination ran rampant, yet she kept her features pleasantly composed.

  What right did she have to be jealous? Thanks to their divorce, Luke was free to indulge himself in any fashion he pleased. If he wanted to ring the chimes of every southern belle he met, he was certainly entitled. She didn’t care.

  Yes, she did. Damn the quibbling, she cared. But she’d been running scared for so many years, she didn’t know how to stop. Not even for Luke. A haunting ballad on the jukebox echoed her desolation as she sipped her beer, feigning indifference. She’d never felt more alone in her life.

  “As I live and breathe, it’s Bonnie!”

  Bonnie glanced up into twinkling blue eyes that she instantly recognized, then stood.

  “Sueanne!” She embraced her oldest and dearest friend, whom she hadn’t seen in seven years. “I tried to return your call today, but I didn’t get an answer.”

  Sueanne, who was obv
iously pregnant, patted her abdomen and grinned. “It takes me twelve rings to get from our backyard to the telephone these days.”

  “I hung up after ten,” Bonnie admitted. She looked down and laughed. “What’s a mother-to-be doing in this disreputable place?”

  “It beats sitting home watching reruns on the tube.”

  “And where’s Tom?” Bonnie glanced around for her friend’s husband. “I’d love to see him while I’m home.”

  “He’s in the parking lot showing our new pickup truck to Luke,” the other woman answered.

  Bonnie winced and gave herself a swift mental kick for automatically having misjudged the reason for his absence.

  Sueanne smiled wryly. “Honestly, Tom is worse than a little boy—he couldn’t stand to have his toy sit unnoticed in the driveway all night.”

  “Why don’t you join the hen party?” Bonnie invited, turning her attention back to her friend. She squeezed Sueanne’s shoulders affectionately. “How are you?”

  “As comfortable as possible, considering it’s twins.”

  “Twins!” Bonnie laughed uncertainly. “Dare I offer my congratulations?”

  “In duplicate.” Sueanne smiled serenely, her eyes radiating a contentment that Bonnie envied to the core of her soul. “I grumble some, but I wouldn’t trade places with anyone I know.”

  “Sit in my chair, Sueanne,” Darlene insisted. She grabbed another chip, then pushed away from the table. “I’m going to put a headlock on Dave and drag him onto the dance floor before I founder myself on junk food.” She stood, pulled up the bodice of Bonnie’s sundress and turned in the direction of the pool table. “Besides, I’m sure you two have a lot of catching up to do after all these years.”

  Sueanne lowered herself cautiously into the vacated chair, sighing when she was comfortably situated. “I always resemble a beached whale beginning about my seventh month.”

  “Nonsense,” Bonnie refuted in a wistful tone. “You look terrific.” The pain of her own long-ago loss wrenched her heart, yet she felt a vicarious joy in her friend’s obvious sense of well-being. “How many will this make?”